Understanding My Fear - A Breakthrough

It was screaming in my head..get up! Get up and write. I didn’t want to.... or so I thought! I’m tired, I didn’t sleep well...I’m comfortable in bed...It’s cold out there...I don’t really know how to write...I’m not any good...no one is really interested in what I have to say...on and on and on and on.

But it wouldn’t go away...face your FEAR..say what you have to say...at least get it out there..put it on paper...put it on the radio...put it on film...just put it somewhere until someone, somewhere sees it the same way I do.
Of course I am not the only one with this vision but it is so big and so important and so needed that no matter how small or seemingly insignificant my voice may be it still can make a sound that can be heard.
There are many things in life that are important to me God, family, friends, patients, and my health. I don’t believe that I am any different than any one of you and in different stages and times in my life I have become confused of how to arrange my priorities. My health is important because it is the means by which I can move forward with the speed and mental clarity and energy I need to accomplish what I believe is my purpose in life. Perhaps we are similar in that many times in my life I have made poor choices for a thousand different reasons and abused my health. I didn’t respect myself and my health, didn’t feel good about myself, or believed that no one else cared so why should I. Even as starters those and many other reasons somehow often justify my decision to not value my health and to even abuse it. The difference is however, I know better.
There is a knowledge and experience within my being that tells me I am not being honest with myself and that I am afraid. Fearful of what it is going to take to make my voice heard, fearful of the rejection, fearful of the slow progress that I’ve already experienced putting my little toe in the cold water, fearful of my inadequacies getting in the way, fearful of the lack of finances, fearful that I am on the wrong track, fearful that I can’t be the total example that I need to be to be understood and fearful that this journey will end like other times as a disaster in my life.
Well my conclusion through all the rubble of previous earthquakes in my life is that I can’t run away from what I now I must do. Each day brings a new understanding, and a new challenge with another door opened and a consistently renewed vision to get back on track. Whatever it takes the break through my fear is what I must do. See the fear for what it is...rooted in self doubt...and a distortion of the truth. If you believe that you have been created for a reason and you are not an accident...then you may believe as I do there must be reason for all of this chaos, suffering, and even injustice. It is my reason and my passion to press on and encourage you to do the same.