How Does It Feel To Be Loved?

In those hours of self pity, self doubt and discouragement I would probably say “I don’t know” how it feels to be loved. There aren’t too many subjects, that have been written about more than this subject. I’ve heard it been said that love is more a decision than a feeling and I am beginning to believe that is true.
I had a phone discussion with a friend last night that reminded of the power of that decision...I’ll call it my “decision to love.” In reflection of memories of past feelings and my interpretation of them I believe I know what it is like to not feel loved. If you are a human being and you live on this planet you probably have “experienced or felt” similar feelings at one time another in your lifetime. It does not feel good. As a matter of fact I would call it some of the darkest hours of my existence when the loneliness and despair seem like (although I acknowledge truly brief) painfully endless periods of time.
Then somehow or other (many discussions in the future on how that is) I pull out of it, the sun shines, the emptiness disappears, and life feels full and incredibly satisfying again. Why? I believe this is a natural cycle that most of us experience and must learn to manage to truly be healthy. The absence of understanding and even appreciating the value of these kind of experiences in our lives frequently leads to the abuse of antidepressants, misguided counseling, and self perpetuated and unnecessary depression. Please do not misunderstand. I am very empathetic to those who experience legitimate (particularly chemically/physiologically induced depression. I refer now to those of us in the majority who do not fit in that category. Those of us who in the realm of living and life’s experiences must learn to accept, understand and develop healthy coping mechanisms (attitudes) about how to handle this kind of stress. Yes, I said it. I refer to yet another kind of stress (depression that comes from not feeling loved) that can destroy our health if we don’t learn to manage it well.
So what does this have to do with the decision to love? When these occasions (dark hours) show up in our lives it then becomes the time to employ some of our stress and emotional management tools. Finding the courage to open our eyes to acknowledge those in our lives who do love us is the process of making love a decision. Our struggle during those times is lightened when we chose to abandon self absorption and what feels to be missing in our lives...and consciously replace them with the positive emotions of appreciation and gratitude. I have learned to be grateful and to savor the subtleties in gestures that say I love you, appreciate you, and thank you. It brings tears to my eyes, a palpable warmth to my heart, and a renewal of the feeling that I know what it is like to feel loved.