Feeling Inadequate - Try a Hair Piece

Have you ever felt that you just weren’t good enough?
Years ago struggling with my identity and losing my hair quickly I did I believe what many of us do when we struggle with issues in our lives like when we feel inadequate, unloved, or somehow lost in the vastness of life...I over compensated!
Looking back I probably see it better now than I did then but is always helpful to examine the process. I call it “crisis plus time equals humor”. Not feeling good enough is a universal feeling and hits most of us sooner or later but what matters most is not that it shows up but what we do with the feeling when it does. Without recognizing it for what it is at the time we may make some poor choices to compensate for the feeling in our effort to make it go away. In my effort to make the feeling go away I looked for a quick solution. Trust me there is no quick solution that removes the feeling, but there is a process that does work. I somehow started equating my feelings of inadequacy with the ongoing loss of my hair. I made the decision to get more hair which would obviously make me feel more competent and whole, right? What was I thinking?
When we are feeling lousy about ourselves we have a tendency to be incredibly vulnerable in our judgment and decision making process. The choices we make at such times can be disastrous or they can be very healthy. I will tell you about my disaster (not an emotionally healthy choice) so that hopefully you will avoid such a mistake in your life. I came across an advertisement (the ultimate temptation when not feeling good about yourself) to have more hair and roll back the aging process (whatever that means). With an impulsive decision to solve my feeling of inadequacy I flew to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and had a hair piece sewn into my head. I call it my hysterical nightmare! So far away from home I found myself trapped by my own decision. I had not carefully thought through the consequences of my choice. The company which had all the appearances of being successful and legitimate existed as do many other companies to help us temporarily feel better about ourselves had me where they wanted me. I decided I had not gone all that distance not to follow through with my decision and that having more hair would make me feel better about myself. I knew even then that something inside of me was screaming ‘this is not a good decision”. My need to compensate for my feelings of inadequacy were far greater at that moment than my need to understand my feelings and make a better choice.
I completed the procedure. During the surgery I was fully awake with just an anesthetized skull. Their intentions were to not let me see myself until the entire procedure was completed but when I had a brief moment to myself I ran out of the room to find a mirror. The shock of my life ensured. I was living my own horror movie with blood running everywhere down my face and neck and now with a head of spiked hair looking shocking similar to the bride of Frankenstein. It was too late I couldn’t go back I knew at that moment I would have to live with my decision. Before I left Philadelphia I had two major hair cuts and still looked like Liberace on a bad hair day. The nightmare continued having to return to Philadelphia at a moments notice to repair the hair piece. On two occasions I accidentally cut a suture when trimming my hair and the hair piece started unraveling; I had to immediately return to Philadelphia to prevent the hair piece from slipping off on my head. That decision cost me a lot of money and followed me for twelve years until I finally realized it did absolutely nothing to help me resolve my feelings of inadequacy. That whole process from a singular decision ended up being only a bandaid placed over a wound that was having a difficult time healing.
Feelings of inadequacy exist for a reason. Like many other things in our lives they exist to teach us about ourselves. They are valuable moments in time that offer us the opportunity to look inside to see what is really happening and to make necessary changes to make our lives better. From there the fact remains that the only way to resolve the feelings is to face them honestly. Denying their existence or attempting to go around them only delays resolve and inner peace.
When feelings of inadequacy show up first of all allow yourself time to reflect on what is happening to you. If ever there is a time in your life to slow down and pay attention, this is it! You are here for a reason. One of the major reasons feelings of inadequacy show up is because we temporarily cannot see or do not acknowledge that our life has significance and that our journey has purpose. I believe in God and I know with certainty my life matters to Him like I know he watches over you as well. I know that because every time I take the time to slow down and be grateful for the blessings, talents, gifts, and relationships in my life I truly begin to understand that I am not inadequate. Brief periods of loneliness, anxiety, or incompetence are simply momentary blind spots when we are unwilling to acknowledge the goodness, “the silver linings”, or “the pots of gold at the end of our rainbows”. To be thankful for what we already have is the first step in allowing our hearts and minds to find the way out of our feelings of inadequacy. The process is real ...it is universal